Together forever? Myth or reality?

Well hello, there my beloved readers! Am I allowed to say hello like this yet? Well I don`t know, but I can't help it, I would like to take a moment to appreciate you guys for reading my blog.

So as I said in my blog description, this blog is about topics that I found interesting, such as personal growth. I think relationships are fundamental in everybody’s life, they fulfill but they are also able to destroy lives, therefore earlier this year I was looking for something to change my approach about them and I was blessed to get the recommendation of my mentor, Patricia Benavides, here is her Instagram account

Currently, she is developing a new program called Attraversiamo, which in Italian means “We cross”. The program is dedicated to helping people that know their romantic relationships are not as good as they would like them to be. Right now she is working hard on the marketing side with Instagram Lives, this post is about the first IG Live of these series: Together forever? Myth or reality? Comments about “Until death tear us apart”. Click here to see the video.

 

The core of this live session are the top 5 reasons that will doom a romantic relationship:

 

1. The connection is only based on physical attraction and sex, I mean, haven’t we all been there? This special someone that has nothing else in common with us but the deep desire to be intimate. Society is pushing people towards this type of flings, which are usually not so fulfilling since you are not creating a meaningful bond. In most of the cases, the parties involved are scared of actually developing feelings, it is like, let’s share this deep, intimate moment but if I see you tomorrow I won’t remember you. I would like to share with you a song, Nena of Aldeanos is a rap song about a girl that tries to win a guy over through her legs, it is hard to listen to, but it is extremely true. Link

2. The person is trying to cover an actual personality void with the relationship, therefore the significant other becomes the center of life, this implies big issues such as abandonment issues, self-love, lack of sense of approval by society, and so on. These problems must be solved individually through conscious self-work. A good example is when a guy feels inadequate and he is jealous of his partner without motive, he feels that she will find another guy who she finds best and will leave him heart-broken. There is this Netflix Show - Crazy Exgirlfriend - and this is the plot, the lead, she is desperate to go back with his ex, and when she finally manages to do it (sorry for the spoiler) she realizes that life didn’t change magically for being with him, and that is a huge and hard truth of life, that is why I love the show and also their extensive list of songs, I love music ;)

Crazy ex-girlfriend Season Two Intro song

3. The parties involved in the relationship don’t share a life project. This one is quite simple yet easily forgotten, especially in a time where everything is happening extremely fast, emotions and experiences developed in a heartbeat, but you don’t know that your companion wants to leave for a year to South Korea and doesn’t want to have kids, yet you are satisfied with your local life and you are a big fan of children. Let’s think about the TV Series How I Met your Mother (spoilers coming next), that in summary is how I lost Robin, your auntie, they had this fantastic thing going on but Robin and Ted were not able to meet themselves halfway. In this case, communication is key and also the concept of reaching agreements and certainly finding someone that looks at life like you. Paty goes above and beyond, she states that each party of the relationship should be aware of the self-purpose of life and the purpose the couple shares, which means they transcend together, well that is beautiful my friends.  

4. The lovers don’t share the same values, the example could be someone that wants to work really hard to only save money but the companion wants to enjoy life, travel, dress well, and they have huge fights filled with ego and mean words. It also can happen that at first values of both were the same but with time people change and priorities shift, therefore someone that was a big fan of long weekend parties after having kids, now wants to chill, sleep late, but the other half might be longing to get wasted.

5. Someone in the relationship is deceitful, trust is the foundation of extraordinary relationships. Sometimes a partner might be lying regarding financial matters, in other cases, it might be the partner who got involved in an affair.

Paty talks about cheating, she says if you are really comfortable in your relationship you will be focused. Then if someone else smiles at you, you won’t take it in a sexual way, but if you feel awkward in your relationship, it is easier to think that going outside and replacing your companion will be easier and better. However, there are several broken hearts and so many popular songs stating otherwise. You might reconsider working on the stuff that is making you uncomfortable rather than breaking the heart and trust of your special other, if definitely after analyzing the situation, being alone is what you need, taking the time to end things properly will be less traumatizing for each other.